The day I become Mami

Every time I think about my labor, there’s a mix of feelings I still can’t fully understand. There’s a void—something I might not be able to make sense of now, but maybe later, Inshaa’Allah. So I write it down, because every time I do, my eyes well up. This isn’t just a birth story; it’s a reminder of how Allah planned everything better than I could have ever imagined.

My due date was 26/08. But on 23/08, I spotted blood. We didn’t rush straight to the hospital. Instead, I calmly checked our hospital bag again, took a bath, and tried to steady myself. Only then we went. 

The doctor checked me—my cervix wasn’t even 1cm. Then came the news: Oligo. My amniotic fluid was decreasing. To avoid baby distress, they decided to induce me with a balloon. The next day, I only reached 3cm. That was all, even after the balloon induction. 

Contractions were so strong, so strong—but my body just wasn’t progressing. By midday on the 25th, the doctor broke my water. Finally, 4cm. I was moved to the labor room. I thought "FINALLY" but no. It was just a start. 

I still remember the feeling of being wheeled into the labor room. I turned my head and saw my husband waving, mouthing the words ‘I love you.’ That moment stayed with me… but right after, the fear crept in. I felt a little alone. I knew I had to fight this battle by myself. 

From the start, I had set my mind on normal birth. I wanted it badly. They gave me medicine to make contractions stronger. I fought through wave after wave of pain—for 9, maybe 10 hours. But still… nothing changed. Still 4cm.

Then came the words I never wanted to hear: “We need to proceed with an emergency C-section.”

I felt helpless. I had already fought so hard, cried so much, and my body was giving up on me. My heart just sank. I was broken. But then… in that cold, bright operation room, I heard a cry.

Your cry, Idris.

The cry I had been waiting for. The cry that changed everything. Even in my half-conscious, exhausted state, tears rolled down my cheeks. Even as I could still sense the doctors and nurses “working” on my body, there was a stillness that washed over me—a golden feeling of being blessed beyond words. I was overwhelmed with gratitude to Allah. I couldn’t put it into words, only tears.

When they showed me your gender, and let me kiss you while they continued the C-section—Ya Rabb, that was truly the golden moment of my life. A sacred moment between me, you, and my Creator.

In that moment, I wasn’t just a patient anymore. I became Mami. 🤍