CJ Idris turns one, a year postpartum of me.

CJ Idris Turned One

CJ Idris turned one. Alhamdulillah. 

And somehow, that also means I survived one whole year postpartum. And it's not me alone. My husband too. 

I still couldn’t believe how in the worldddd I became a mother. Not even a month of being a wife, and suddenly I became a mother. You know what I mean? Tak sempat nak adapt as a wife, then suddenly a mother? Whuuttt?! HAHAHA!

But it happened, you know.

And as I’m writing this, I suddenly got a flashback of all the times I prayed for this. Like gazillion times. I prayed for this, and then pap! Allah gave him to me just like that.

And now he is in his ONE+ ERA.

My husband and I learnt so many things after having Idris. Like, really. So many things about each other, about ourselves, about marriage, and about life.

Sabr is the key. Ya, I know. But you see, it’s easier said than done.

There were days when patience felt so far away. Days when both of us were tired, like crazy and overwhelmed (mostly me being this way) and just trying to figure out what the heck we were doing.

But somehow, we learnt to meet each other in the middle. 

I’m truly grateful that my husband has a “water” personality, while my husband lets me be the “fire”. Somehow, we balance each other out. When I’m too emotional, he grounds me. When he needs a little more softness, I bring it on, like K FINE! But only sometimes hahaha, because it’s just too hard for me to simply pssst the fire and put it out just like that. NO! HAHAHA.

And when both of us are running on two hours of sleep and pure survival mode... well, good luck to us. 😂

One year of motherhood has changed me in ways I never expected.

Having three hours of straight sleep will make me feel anxious because I’ll be thinking, “I slept too much, didn’t I?” Then I feel guilty that I left the dishes and laundry untouched, but also telling myself, “Shane, you have to stay sane soooo, you need some rest too.”

Go have your me time. Do a workout. Go out and meet people. And don’t forget to talk. Like, really, Shane, just GO OUT, TALK, READ, WRITE and DO SOMETHING! 

Because somewhere along the way, I realised that being a mother doesn’t mean I have to disappear as a person. Ya you might not be the same as before, because you've upgraded to 16ProMax version but yeah. I really hope you know what I mean if you become a mother, do not expect yourself to be the same as before. That means, you ARE a better person compared than the previous you! Don't you ever dare degrading yourself because of becoming a mother. 

And maybe that’s the funny thing about becoming a mother. You don’t suddenly wake up one day knowing exactly how to do it. You just learn as you go.  You pray. You try. You mess up. You try again. Ada masa you akan rasa penat. Happy. Overwhelmed. Emotional. Hangry all the time esp when you're exclusively DBF and then, one day you look at your baby and realise...

Wait. Alhamdulilah. I actually made it this far.  Alhamdulillah for one year of Idris. And Alhamdulillah for one year of becoming Mami. 

Flashing back all these memories <3 

My precious 2.56kg baby boy! Masa ni mami masih mamai, masih tak percaya baby keluar dari perut, and that is you Yish!  At this moment, mami masih tak buka beg kencing, masih tak dapat adapt bila nak pee, tahu2 beg urine dah penuh dah. Masa ni juga, mami masih susah nak bangun sendiri sebab luka perut mami sakit sangat. 

Your first sip of milk sayang! 

Kita pergi klinik sebab Yish ada kuning! Tapi managed to discharge from it within a week! Alhamdulilah!  

Yish 21 days old! You were so smollll! 

6 months 2 days old! You started to eat liao! You first food was steak! YOU LIKED ITTTT and your first fruit was Limau Mandarin muahahahah! Masatu sebab mami baba fikir limau will help to absorb the iron from the steak better!  

You were so momok hereeeee! 

 

Yish dah 7 months  21 days old! Dah start kuruuuuus sebab dah active  T.T

Mami ada banyak lagi nak tulis and nak letak gambar buttt, dah start bergenang dah so I should stop and sleep, tomorrow mami have appointment at campus and it's 03:44 LIAO! Till my next writing okay! Laf you Yiyish sayang!