Love and Faith: A Message to My Brothers and Beyond

I have once been told by my godfather that being a parent is never easy. Why? Because parents are human beings too and human beings are bound to make mistakes. Nothing could guarantee the child's future. None of us except our one and only Creator.


You can be a winner and lose it all within nanoseconds. Well, there is no guarantee that this life is easy, right? I am not a mother (yet) but I would say I carry both responsibilities of being a mother and a father to my two brothers, Haiqal & Shahrul. Indeed, watching your kids grow is a blessing. Keeping up with their progress, listening to their stories, how’s their days, at school, observing them how they get things done ya Allah. Alhamdulilah. They will be teenage soon. No, they are teeneger now. Not to forget reminding them 1001 times to do the dishes,  putting things in place accordingly orrrr to throw out the trash is the most annoying thing ever! But again, you watch them progressing day by day. Don’t get me wrong, there will be challenges. There will be trust issues but I learn on how to trust again, without giving 100% trust, you get what I mean? 

Haiqal (turning 17 y-old) this year

Shahrul (turning 15 y-old) this year

I never understand why I am being reminded of the same thing all over again when I was a teeneager until I took the responsibility to take care of these two. Never in my day goes with no worries at all when I am at work as my thought will be like Are they back from school? Have they eaten? Did they put the stove off? Are they safely home? And so much more! Others at my age may go wherever they want after work, but I do not. I do but rarely and my thoughts will be at home. I appreciate this journey of my life. When I look back, I went through so many challenges and I never regretted my decision. 


I feel overwhelmed too, but I pray that this decision will make a significant difference in their lives just like mine. There are times when I doubt myself, there’s so much frustration over sooo many things where I feel like giving up and pulling my handbrake like literally at that moment but Alhamdulilah, my Creator guides perfectly till today even with my flaws and limitations but alhamdulilah I made it. The journey continues and my responsibility never ends. If it’s not them, to the people around me.

 

Dearest Haiqal & Shahrul, even if I am no longer physically present with you in future please remember to leave a positive impact on the people around you. Do your very best and please keep in mind that Allah knows what is best for you. Whatever your desire is, Allah will respond with what is better for you. Always remember that.  Love, Kakak Ayang

Location: Selangor, Malaysia

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